Sacrifice
by xxGlambert2010xx
Summary: It's been fourteen years since Adam saw Tommy in highschool...what's made him remember every memory all over again...? Will he survive the hurt all over again. Btw the whole story is in Adam's POV.
1. Haunted

**Adam's POV**

Here I am exactly fourteen years later and the word sacrifice...still rings through my ears every night before I fall asleep haunting me. Sure I had other boyfriends but I never ever forgot Tommy never. We were so young and in love, and we would always say no one could ever come in between us...so why did I let them? Because of my sacrifice, he left the world long before life even started for him.

I still remember every day we spent with each other so clear even clearer then the day I left him...all alone standing in the pouring rain with eyeliner running down his face, I never forgot that look in his eyes. I didn't want to do this but I had to make a sacrifice...for him.

I was that geeky freckled red head kid who was always staring at the theatre posters in the filled school hallways. Always longing to pick up that pen and sign up, but I never had the courage or self esteem to do so. Part of this reason was I was different, not like all the other kids. I would walk into school everyday just to be mentally and physically tortured, but then Tommy came along. I still remember the day I met his wonderful soul like it was just yesterday, the way his bangs hung over his face, the way his chocolate eyes stood out of the crowd...everything.

It was the beginning of the year 1996, I was in year eight sitting all alone for recess in the playground and as per usual every day the jocks would walk past laughing at me and then shortly stealing my food after walking off kicking my water bottle half way down the school field. I hated school it was a miserable place for me...I had no friends and then even when I had found even just one friend they would shortly just leave me there all alone in the playground just like all the other kids.

No one wanted me, Then there was just one other problem I was starting to think I was a homosexual. I never liked the thought of being with a girl, instead i always thought of what it would be like to be with a boy. But I had way too many other things to worry about so I usually just tried to ignore the thoughts and shrug it off.

But today was different after the idiots had stolen my lunch, kicked my water bottle half way down the field and had run away laughing. A boy named Tommy Joe Ratliff walked up to me and sat right beside me with the biggest smile I had ever seen until that day. My heart skipped a beat...He was smiling and sitting next to me?

He then began introducing himself, "Hi my name is Tommy Joe, and you ok?"

I was so shocked that he actually asked if I had been alright, that I nearly didn't reply to him. Then without thinking I replied a bit too quickly, "Hey! My name is Adam...yea I'm fine just the same old bullies from everyday..."

Tommy's eyes widened, "Everyday?" he answered back with his tone of voice slightly raised.

"Uh yea they do the same thing to me everyday...but I don't care I'm used to it...nobody here likes me." I replied to him trying to hold back tears.

I remember him then standing up and holding his hand out to help me up, his hands were so soft, he then said, "Follow me" as he walked straight up to the guys who always hassled me. Tommy then tapped the biggest one on the shoulder and questioned, "what is your problem...why don't you leave this guy alone...what did he ever do to you?"

I remember being scared and just wanting to take Tommy with me and hide. Somehow Tommy didn't look scared at all. The guy turned around laughing at Tommy and replying, "hmm it's something like this...My problem is that Adam is a loser...and acts like a complete fag, look he even found a boyfriend!"

I remember my eyes stinging with tears of hurt and anger...I ran...I didn't know where...I just kept running. Then when I looked back I saw something that made me smile, Tommy's fist pounding that assholes face like there was no tomorrow. Tommy then saw that I had stopped and was smiling so he then stopped and caught up with me, "c'mon let's get out of here..." he smiled.

As we left the school fields I was still so shocked at everything that had happened. Why was Tommy being so nice to me...? Then all of a sudden it hit me again... 'Fag'. Great so everybody except me knows that I'm gay for sure...stupid people what does it matter anyway. Tommy saw me shaking my head and then began to speak, "what's wrong?" he asked as he brushed his bangs away from his face.

I then looked at him with a slight sigh replying, "everything...everybody hates me for something I'm not even sure of...And I'm an ugly red head geek...you should just run away like all the others...thanks for bashing the daylights out of that bastard though."

We both stopped walking and Tommy then turned his body around to face me with his gorgeous big brown eyes and then replied smiling, "You have no idea what you're talking about... I like you."

I remember my heat skipping a beat and thinking to myself did he just say...he likes me...we just met!

I couldn't help but let a giggle and reply back smiling, "well I like you too Tommy"

He smiled back and then we both parted our ways and went home. That night I couldn't wait for school the next day...all night I lied in bed thinking about how nice Tommy had been to me.


	2. Someone to smile about

He made my life so enjoyable and I let him slip away...I Adam Lambert let Tommy Joe Ratliff slip away. Sacrifice. Ever since that day I got off the phone with Lily (Tommy's mum) I never ever forgave myself. If I hadn't of listened and left, he might still of been alive to this day...who knows we could've even maybe of ran into each other one day, if he were still here...but no I let him go.

I remember when I woke up the next day for school after meeting Tommy, I could barely wait to see him. I woke up TWO hours early JUST for school, yes TWO hours. I had just met him...yet he made me feel like I was something. I remember that morning so clearly, I was so excited to go to school I ran into my mother's bedroom yelling, "Mum, mum, wake up! I have a friend that likes me & I want to go to school early and wait for him!"

I still giggle every now and then at my innocence. My mother was just glad that I had found a friend, so she got up from bed smiling and replied hugging me, "that's great honey...I'll tell you what, I'll pack your friend a sandwich and popper aswell."

I remember feeling so happy and excited, it was quite silly how great I was feeling...but Tommy was the only person who had ever been that nice to me apart from my brother and parents, there was something special about him. After my mum had packed my lunch I threw my bag over my shoulder and then raced out the door blowing my mum a kiss (yes i m a mummy's boy okay don't judge.)

I arrived at the school gates and I remember nearly jumping for joy...Tommy was waiting at the school gate for me. I quickly rushed up to him and basically blurted out, "Hey Tommy!"

It was quite embarrassing actually...I managed to turn Tommy crimson just by talking...great I thought to myself. Tommy then laughed replying, "Hey Adam...wows your happy today." I flashed him smile back and we then walked into school to ho to our classes. Unfortunately Tommy was only in my English and history classes and those were two of the subjects I didn't have that day, so when the bell rang for class we said our goodbyes and as he left for class he shook my hand...I thought that was weird since we are teenagers not business men.

But I then soon realized he had left a note in my hand, to meet him on the grass oval at the start of our first lunch break. I was so excited and I didn't even really know why... I guess it was because today at recess I would be sitting next to someone and not just someone but a awfully special cute someone I had to admit.

The bell then rang for our first lunch break I was so excited I ran as fast as I could out of class but was then shortly stopped by the group of boys who always hassle me.

"HEY PRETTY BOY, WHERE YOU GOING?" the group questioned holding me by the jacket. I was too stupid and naive back then so replied, "Just going to meet my friend, can you please let me go now...?"

Big mistake...

The boys then started laughing and dragged me away into the boy's bathroom and tied me up to one of the stalls. "Naw looks like your boy friend is going to miss you today." they said as they then left me there.

I felt so bad...all I could think about what Tommy must've been thinking, he probably thought I didn't like him or wanted nothing to with him...when the truth was I think I was developing a bit of a crush on him. I struggled to let myself loose but failed several times...I was so worried how I would get back to class! How would I get home! Then all of a sudden an answer to my prayers, Tommy walked in.

I was so happy he had walked in (out of all people) that was until he hadn't noticed me hanging there over one of the stalls and began to unzip his pants to use the 'Wall'. Oh great...can this get any worse. How weird would it be if I saw his Ya know what...crap what do I do...this is real awkward! Before I could think I just simply coughed and called out 'Uh Tommy...' He then quickly turned around and noticed me hanging there, he quickly ran over to me, "oh gosh Adam I'm so sorry I didn't see you...hmm so this is why you aren't out on the oval with me"

I slightly blushed then replying, "Hehe Uh yea that would be the reason." Tommy then untied the knots and held out his arms in case I fell. I thanked him for letting me free and then when We were about to walk out of the toilets, I remembered something, "um Tommy I didn't mean to be prying or anything but didn't you need to go to the toilet...and then I interrupted you..." I felt so weird saying that I swear I felt like a tomato.

Tommy just turned to me basically breaking out into tears of laughter, "oh yea haha I forgot oops, excuse for one sec, just wait outside for Me." he replied. I then made my way outside...I was so thankful he had heard me in time I mean whoa that would've been EXTREMELY wrong if I saw his parts.

He then walked out of the toilets wiping his wet hands on his shorts, "who did this...?" he questioned.

I didn't want Tommy to get into trouble like he did the other day, so I refused to tell him. He was about to keep bugging me about it, but then the bell for our next two classes rang so I thanked him again, apologized for nearly seeing his parts and walked away.

All through my classes before lunch I couldn't stop thinking about Tommy and what all the other guys say about me...was it true, am I gay? And if I was...who for...Tommy? I was so confused back then, I had no Idea who or what I was feeling...maybe I had it all wrong and I was just happy to have a friend.

Interrupting me from my thoughts the lunch bell had then rung, this time I walked over to the oval and took the long way, just in case those bastards were still hanging around waiting for me. I looked over at the oval where I was supposed to be meeting Tommy but he wasn't there, just as I was starting to think he ditched me already I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I then turned quickly to see who it was and my eyes met the very same chocolate brown eyes that made my heart skip a beat just the other day.

"Follow me..." he gestured.

So I took his word and followed him, Tommy then led us both to the grass field behind the school buildings. He then Pointed over to a tree and smiled, "Come...let's go sit over there that way no one will find us and be a bother"

We had both then sat under the tree and started eating our lunches, he thought it was really sweet and hilarious that my mother had made him a sandwich, gee thanks mum...I must look like an idiot now, I remember thinking to myself.

As we were eating our lunch I remember Tommy asking me again, why I was so happy this morning because usually I was always walking with my face facing the ground. I was so shy and naive it wasn't funny back then, "I am so happy today because I found a friend i really like." I replied to him.

Tommy then giggles back, "oh is that right Adam, so what is this Friend's name is?" he then winked.

Haha I remember every time he winked, he always seemed to crinkle his nose up and it was so adorable I could've just melted in front of him, I then replied back to him almost blushing, "Tommy Joe Ratliff..."

"oh I see...so who said we are friends" he answered back sounding serious.

My jaw fell, I felt so embarrassed and hurt I just wanted to cry. What I didn't realize was that he was only joking. So I got up in shock and began to walk away, ready to just break down...now that I think about it my reaction was pretty priceless. As I was walking I felt a hand grab mine and spin me around...it was Tommy!

"Dude! Where are you going? You know I was only joking right...?" Tommy said with puzzled eyes.

I felt like such an idiot my eyes widened, "ohh right oops so we are still friends?" I questioned.

Tommy let out a little giggle and smiled, "yes Adam we are still friends..."

You know what's funny...I only now just realized from remembering back to this day, that when Tommy had spun me around to stop me from leaving he never let my hand go.


	3. Someone to call mine

Days, weeks and months went by each day Tommy and I had become even greater and closer friends then the day before. I on the other hand secretly felt much more than friendship towards Tommy, even though I knew I shouldn't I couldn't help but fall in love with my best friend...the only true friend I had that had treated me like I was something.

I am never going to be able to find the right words to explain just how much Tommy meant to me and how much he changed me for the better, if it weren't for him...I wouldn't be who I am today. You see Tommy changed me in no way you could imagine. Just after spending a few weeks with him I became more open and embraced life. I learnt that what other people think of me doesn't matter because I am who i am and if I can accept that, then that is all that matters.

As we spent more and more time together I had gotten to know Tommy really well. His mother's name was Lily, His father's name was Ron and he also had a sister, she attended another school. The Ratliff family didn't live far from my house so every weekend Tommy and i would hang out at the Local Park and just talk. One of many things we both had in common was we both absolutely hated sport, it just wasn't our thing.

Meeting Tommy was the best thing that ever happened to me from being that boy who didn't even have the courage to pick up a pen sign up for theatre, I had turned into the star of the show because of Tommy.

I still remember the day I found out Tommy was gay...it wasn't exactly the best way for two people to become a couple, but to me it was the most beautifulest thing ever...standing up to those bullies, shutting them up in their path...was gold to me.

One school weekend Tommy and I had decided to go to Taco Bell for lunch, oh and did I ever mention that Tommy was practically married to taco's...? No...? Well, He was absolutely in love with Taco's! I swear...seeing he and taco's made me jealous sometimes, no joke! I remember at that time I was practically head over heels for Tommy, but I could never tell him...I couldn't risk it...I couldn't lose a perfect friendship over this if he didn't feel the same.

We had just finished eating our food and were sitting down talking about school. Tommy was asking me how theatre was going and what time the show the following week was going to start. I remember I didn't want to tell him the time so he doesn't waste his time on coming plus I'd be even more nervous with him there...what if I stuffed up? But being Tommy he kept insisting so I ended up telling him the time.

It was a great day and everything was going fine until we walked out of taco bell, to go back to the local park just to chill out and talk. We had just left taco bell and were walking through the car park when the same group of boys from school had stopped us in our tracks grabbing me and Tommy by the shirt.

"OH LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE...IT'S THE PRETTY BOYS...Hmm well you both aren't going to be so pretty anymore" the biggest guy of group said laughing...well more like cackling ...'that good for nothing evil bastard. Ugh if only i had punched his face, to this day I regret never punching him.

We was about to swing a punch at Tommy, but then I let my feelings for Tommy get in the way, i forced my way out of the guy holding me back's grip and pushed Tommy out of the way causing the bastards fist to crash with my cheek, instead of Tommy's. Yes, it hurt like a bitch, but let me tell you... It was damn worth it.

Tommy was in shock and the so called tough guy was now furious at what I had done.

"OH LOOK THE FAG IS TRYING TO SAVE HIS FRIEND...MAYBE HOPING FOR SOME ACTION IN RETURN...WELL GUESS WHAT BUDDY...YOUR FRIEND IS NOT REALLY YOUR FRIEND AND WOULD NEVER EVER LIKE YOU BACK YOUR A FAG, AND WHO EVER KISSES OR EVER TOUCHES YOU BECOMES A FAG...YOUR A DISEASE."

Those words...they burnt me. They cut me...they did more damage than a knife could ever do. I was hurt...real hurt. I just wanted to run away and die.

He could see the anger boiling up in me, he could see all the hurt and anger swirling in my eyes and all he could do was laugh.

I turned to Tommy with tears of hurt and anger welling up in my eyes, "I'm sorry Tommy...but I can't do this anymore...I am gay and I really like you...more than you'll ever know, I don't want to drag you down my path and I'm sorry you found out like this."

Before I could see the look on Tommy's face... I walked away, I was too scared to see his reaction...afraid it would hurt me even more and drag me to the end. As I walked away...I heard the laughs and taunting of all the boys laughing off their satisfaction.

"HAH HE REALLY IS A FAG...NOW HE HAS NO FRIENDS HAHA!"

I couldn't bear it any more I was about to start running...when two familiar soft hands wrapped around my waist tightly and then spun me around looking in to my eyes deeply smiling. The most magical thing then happened my lips crashed with his and our lips slowly parted allowing our tongues entrance. As we broke the kiss, in shock I looked over at the boys...who were still standing there speechless as Tommy grabbed my hand smiling and talked loud enough so all the boys could hear, "Well, I guess we're fags for life together now." 


	4. Romeo & Romeo

Each day me and Tommy had spent together was priceless, every day we had a new memory to cherish forever just like we had promised each other and as you can see as of today I still haven't broken that promise, even though we're apart.

Tommy and I had now been together for three months and let me tell you...Those three months of my life had been by the BEST year of my life. I never ever forgot that, and I never ever will. I may have had other boyfriends after Tommy, but it never felt right or lasted I never stopped loving him. To this day I'm in love with a dead man and it's my fault his gone.

Right after the day those boys had basically ripped my heart up in the parking lot and Tommy had kissed me saying, "I guess we're fags together for life now". We started dating each other right after that very moment. I remember everything so clearly... If I could just have one chance to go back and change the decision I made...I would do it in a heartbeat.

* * *

21st April, 1996

I was walking towards the park where Tommy and I always hung out on the weekend, when all of a sudden he jumped out from a bush giving me such a shock, I fell down grazing my hands. Tommy then quickly got down on his knees looking into my deep blue eyes sympathetically, "oh my gosh babe I'm so sorry...just wanted to surprise you" he said crinkling up his nose.

How could I resist that apology? I then smiled pecking him on the cheek giggling back, "well you succeeded babe."

He smiled back at me planting a soft kiss on my forehead, as he then stretched his hand out to help me up and with that we then continued walking to the park hand in hand. We were so love sick for each other, every time we would go out somewhere we just had to hold hands otherwise it wasn't right. Even as we walked right beside each other we would always glance back over at each other hoping neither of us had noticed we were each other's everything.

Finally we had arrived at the park when Tommy pirouettes to the middle of the field and shouted out, " O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?  
Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

I couldn't help but giggle at and admire Tommy's adorableness. So I then quickly ran over to a nearby tree and leant on it with one hand held up to my chin, "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" I replied back in my best formal accent trying my best not to burst out laughing at how silly Tommy looked, twirling his hair like a 'Juliet' in the middle of the field.

Tommy slowly then paced over to me as he then leaned against my body staring into my eyes slowly brushing his hands up and down my chest, as my heart raced faster than the speed of lightning.

"Tis but thy name that is my enemy: Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot, nor arm nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O be some other name!  
What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,  
Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for thy name, which is no part of thee, Take all myself."

Our bodies slowly then moved closer and closer to each other, as we then both parted our lips letting our tongues clash together fighting for dominance. I then teasingly broke the kiss, "you read my script for the school play...Didn't you?" I said to my Juliet winking.

Tommy then giggled as he tackled me to the floor playfully replying with a wink, "I sure did, but I made a few changes"

"oh really now...?" I smiled, brushing my fingers through his golden locks.

Tommy smirked as he then kissed up my neck. I let a moan slip from my lips at the feel of his touch against me, as he then bit down, sucking on my neck leaving me my first hickey.

It felt so great and special to have something from Tommy and I wanted to give him something back but, I wanted to make it a little different for him. So I smirked lifting up his shirt then kissing up his stomach, until I reached just under his nipple where I then bit down and sucked on it, As Tommy moaned in pleasure. I then licked my lips looking at my work of art smiling.

"Wow babe, well yea I don't remember seeing any of that in the script" Tommy joked playfully winking.

We then spent the afternoon lying in each other's arms looking up at the clouds trying to work out our destiny. You know it's funny... Now I always remember seeing a cloud in the shape of a broken heart, but I had just ignored it. I had Tommy...Nothing looked broken to me back then.


	5. Dangerous promises

Everything had been going great for Tommy and me well except for one thing. Tommy's parents didn't know he was with me...another guy. But my parents had already known we were together and I was gay because they had suspected it a while ago and well all the rumors, teasing and taunting kinda gave it away also. So when I came out to my parents they were fine with it, they loved Tommy just like he was their own son and they accepted me which is more than anything I could ever ask for.

Tommy's parents on the other hand were the total opposite to my family. The reason he hadn't told them yet and didn't plan on doing it anytime soon was because he already knew that his parents weren't fans of the 'Gay Community'. Well it wasn't like they constantly despised them or bashed them up or anything like that I guess... but apparently they just didn't believe it was 'right', they thought it was disgusting and inhumane according to Tommy. We rarely talked about his parents finding out thought because it would always upset him and he would be distressed and paranoid for days.

I had met Tommy's parents though Tommy always just introduced me as his 'Best Friend', which is completely understandable and I didn't mind at all. But whenever I met his parents they were always so nice to me and didn't seem like the judging type, I mean they weren't even religious or anything Tommy's family was Atheist, I am Jewish but yea my family is very religious.

So every time we went out for dates or walks we always had to be extra careful and secretive in case we were to bump into Tommy's parents or any of his other relatives. Except to this day I still have no idea how Ron, Tommy's mother found out. Maybe if I had been more careful Tommy would still be here and I would be holding him in my arms right this moment.

* * *

7th July, 1997

I had just come back from walking Tommy home after we had spent some time at the park 'Studying', when I walked up the path to my house to see Tommy's dad, Ron waiting on my porch with his arms crossed...That look on his face, the way those eyes burnt into my flesh was enough for me to know why he was on my porch without him even saying a word. I didn't know what to say, I feared I would say something wrong and make it all worse...I mean what exactly could I say? There are no words to explain to a parent that their son is gay and has been dating you for a while.

All I could muster up in the softest voice was, "Hi there Mr. Ratliff...is everything ok...?"

His eyes widened almost as if I had just insulted him, "No everything is not alright, My son is now a Fag because of you...Do you want him to live the rest of his life the way you did...Before Tommy came along and helped you through it? I don't want my son to walk down the road and get yelled out by the name 'Fag'. I don't want to answer the door to an officer or paramedic saying I'm sorry but your son has been 'Gay bashed' and is in a critical condition and what about Lily, Tommy's mother don't you think she wants grand kids...?

A mixture of tears, anger and hurt swirled in my eyes just waiting burst out, I spaced out not answering Mr. Ratliff's questions whether they were rhetorical or not. How could his father say all this about his own son and most of all how did he find out when we were so careful...We didn't even kiss in public unless it was at the park and with an exception at Taco Bell or on stage at private play rehearsals where it was just us two.

"WELL BOY! ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER ME OR NOT...IS THAT WANT YOU WANT TOMMY TO GO THROUGH ALL HIS LIFE?" Mr. Ratliff yelled at me, his face now raging with frustration.

I honestly didn't know how to answer that question...I mean of course no i didn't want Tommy to go through that but I didn't want to lose him either. Plus it's not always like that and even if it was we would have each other so it wouldn't even matter to us.

I then quietly replied "No...But sir-".

His dad then cut me off, "Adam there are no buts ok. I'm sorry I really am... but I just can't let this happen to my son...I want this relationship over by the end of Tomorrow if it isn't, I'll have to take matters into my own hands and move Tommy as far away from the city and you as we can get. Which also means no more Bass playing for him, you make the decision Adam..." with that his dad then left my porch as I stood there heartbroken and in shock.

What was I going to do...? I mean there was nothing I could do... both ways we would end up hurt and miserable, but I guess it was for the best...at least Tommy wouldn't have to deal with being a 'Fag'.


	6. You'll never understand

That night I stayed up the whole night...basically tearing my hair out and crying trying to make a decision. Either way it would be the end of 'Us', then finally I made up my mind... as much as it hurt me... and it would hurt Tommy, I had to break it off with him. It was for the best after all, I guess. I had decided that I would break it off with him first thing at school in the morning...get it over and done with since it's hard enough if I had waited any longer it just would've gotten harder to do, but I would never tell him the reason I left him. I didn't want him to be mad at his parents all his life when they were only trying do to what they thought was best for him. I spent the whole night thinking about how awful my life was before Tommy made me feel like I was 'Normal' and I didn't want Tommy to go down that road with me...My decision was made and nothing could've changed my mind.

Although right now I wish something did, he is gone and never coming back I'm living the dream that he wanted to be in, Do you have any idea how much it hurts? If I had once chance, just one chance I would change everything.

* * *

8th July 1997

I slowly climbed out of my bed dreading what was ahead as I pulled back the curtains of my bedroom window revealing my last day as a couple with Tommy. I stared out at the sky, grey clouds were already forming and the trees were blowing swaying with the harsh wind. It was as if even nature knew what was going to happen today, if only that were enough to stop me. I walked over to my wardrobe chucking on anything I could find, then briefly touched up my eyeliner...I didn't care what I looked like today, it didn't matter.

After I had gotten dressed and brushed my teeth I walked downstairs. picked up my bag and the left the house slamming the door. I didn't bother spiking my hair or eating anything for breakfast. What for...? There's no point anymore. As I was walking down my street trying to think over what I was going to say...my heart started to break more and more each time I tried to think of an excuse...the thing was I didn't have an excuse, he was perfect for me.

Just as I reached the end of my street all of a sudden a familiar pair of hands wrapped around my waist, spinning me around then pecking me on the lips...it was Tommy. This isn't going to be easy...is it? Not that I ever thought it would be...except seeing him all happy and Luvy duvy now...knowing that this is all going to change in a matter of five minutes is killing me.

His chocolate brown eyes stared into mine... he looked so beautiful the way his pretty little lips formed those adorable smiles of his. Except as soon as he realized that I didn't seem as happy to see him as I usually was the smile on his lips soon turned upside down, yet I still couldn't pull together anything to say…How are you supposed to break it off with the one person you love most because of their parents not understanding...? There is no easy way.

Tommy's right hand then palmed my cheek with his lost chocolate eyes searching mine looking for an answer, "Adam…what's wrong you seem upset with me..?" he asked.

"Tommy…I'm so sorry…but we can't do this anymore…and don't blame yourself for one minute because it isn't you its me…I'm sorry but its over." I slowly then reached up to my face, taking his palm from my cheek and kissing it at as I began to walkaway to school…even though I knew I wouldn't be able to cope without him.

As I walked away it began to pour heavily… all that filled the air was rain, except not even the storm could drown out the sound of Tommy's cries for me to come back. I turned around once, only to never look back again, all his eyeliner and mascara was running down his face as he fell down onto his knees begging for me to comeback…But I didn't even stop, If I stopped I wouldn't of been able to let go of him, although now I wish I did go back.

Tommy had never turned up to school, all throughout the day I couldn't concentrate…I couldn't help but worry where he was. I couldn't think about him anymore… all that I had left of him was the memory of the way I left him out in the rain, heartbroken…after all he done for me. I still remember that afternoon when I had gotten home…all it took was one message from a crying mother to crush my world forever. I couldn't breathe…he was gone, it was all my fault and now I will never see him again…I couldn't bare what I had just heard…I dropped the phone and left everything.

* * *

This is all I hear every night…the words of a grieving mother crying…"Tommy is gone...Adam he committed suicide…I'm so sorry..."


End file.
